Intimacy Needs Profile

The intimacy Needs Profile is a document that can help people discover their intimacy needs. Intimacy needs include physical sexual needs as well as emotional and relationship needs.

Completing the Intimacy Needs Profile is the process of getting curious about what you truly want. It is about moving beyond surface-level wants and tapping into the deeper feelings, needs, and experiences that you are actually craving.

Creating The Intimacy Needs Profile includes a few important steps:

Self-inquiry: This means taking time to ask yourself what you truly want. Not what you think you are supposed to want, and not what you think your partner expects, but what genuinely calls to you. This could include types of touch, kinds of connection, emotional experiences, or specific fantasies.

Naming Desires Without Judgement: Building an Intimacy Needs Profile invites you to name your wants without labeling them as wrong, embarrassing, selfish, or unrealistic. The focus is on being honest with yourself rather than immediately trying to fit into someone else's idea of what is acceptable.

Identifying Patterns: As you explore your needs, you may start to notice certain themes or patterns. These patterns can give you valuable information about what is most important to you in relationships and intimacy.

Communicating Needs: Once you are more in touch with what you want, the next step is learning how to express those needs clearly and compassionately. Building The Intimacy Needs Profile helps you find words for your needs so that you can share them in ways that invite connection.

Name

First Name

Last Name

General Relationship Needs

What do I need most in a relationship to feel emotionally fulfilled?

(Consider trust, communication, affection, emotional support, companionship, etc.)

How important is quality time to me in a relationship?

(Do I need regular one-on-one time with my partner, or do I feel content with less?)

What kind of emotional support do I desire from my partner?

(Is it reassurance, empathy, active listening, problem-solving, etc.?)

How do I prefer to show love and affection?

(Do I express affection through words, actions, touch, or acts of service?)

How do I prefer to receive love and affection?

(Do I feel loved through verbal affirmations, physical touch, quality time, gifts, etc.?)

What type of communication works best for me in relationships?

(Do I need open, direct communication, or do I prefer a softer, more indirect approach?)

How do I feel about public displays of affection (PDA)?

(Am I comfortable with it, or do I prefer more private displays of affection?)

What are my boundaries around emotional intimacy?

(Are there any topics or situations that feel too vulnerable, or is there something I need to feel safe before opening up?)

Physical and Touch Needs

How important is physical touch in my relationships?

(Do I crave constant physical contact, or do I feel satisfied with limited touch?)

What kind of touch feels most nurturing to me?

(This could include hugs, cuddling, hand-holding, massages, etc.)

How do I feel about sexual touch vs. non-sexual touch?

(Do I see touch as something separate from sexuality, or are they closely intertwined for me?)

What is my ideal balance of physical affection in daily life?

(How often do I want touch or affection from my partner—daily, weekly, or as needed?)

What physical touch makes me feel most connected to my partner?

(Think about moments when touch deepens your emotional bond—cuddling, gentle caresses, holding hands, etc.)

Sexual Desires and Preferences

How important is sex in my relationship?

(Do I see it as a central part of intimacy, or do I place more importance on other aspects of the relationship?)

What type of sexual activity brings me the most pleasure?

(This could include specific acts or experiences—oral sex, penetrative sex, mutual masturbation, role-play, etc.)

How important is variety in my sexual life?

(Do I crave experimentation and novelty, or do I prefer routine and consistency?)

How do I feel about exploring new sexual activities or fantasies?

(Do I enjoy pushing boundaries and trying new things, or do I prefer to stick with what I already know?)

What role does emotional connection play in my sexual experiences?

(Do I need emotional intimacy to feel sexual desire, or can I engage in sex more casually?)

How do I feel about initiating sex?

(Do I feel comfortable taking the lead, or do I prefer to be more passive and let my partner initiate?

What are my desires or needs when it comes to sexual satisfaction?

(Consider both physical satisfaction—orgasm, arousal—and emotional satisfaction—feeling cared for, connected, desired.)

Relationship and Sexual Boundaries

What are my deal-breakers in a relationship?

(Think about values, behaviors, or actions that would cause me to end a relationship or feel deeply uncomfortable.)

What are my sexual boundaries?

(What activities, touch, or behaviors are off-limits for me, either in specific situations or in general?)

How do I feel about consent in sexual situations?

(Do I want clear verbal consent every time, or do I prefer non-verbal cues? What makes me feel safe and respected?)

How do I feel about the concept of sexual exclusivity or non-exclusivity?

(Do I prefer monogamy, or am I open to polyamory or open relationships?)

What is my comfort level with talking about sexual desires or limits with a partner?

(Do I feel comfortable discussing what I want, or is it difficult for me to communicate openly about sex?)

What are the most important things to me when discussing sexual boundaries with a partner?

(Consider respect, clear communication, mutual understanding, etc.)

Emotional and Relational Connection Needs

How do I feel about emotional vulnerability in a relationship?

(Do I crave deep emotional intimacy, or do I find it difficult to share my innermost feelings?)

What makes me feel emotionally secure and connected in a relationship?

(Consider trust, affection, verbal affirmations, physical closeness, etc.)

What do I need from a partner when I’m feeling emotionally overwhelmed or stressed?

(Consider needs like space, reassurance, comforting, or practical support.)

How do I feel about conflict in relationships?

(Do I avoid conflict, engage in healthy debate, or need strategies to navigate disagreements constructively?)

Future Relationship and Sexual Desires

What are my long-term goals for intimacy and sex?

(What kind of connection do I hope to cultivate over time—more depth, more variety, more emotional bonding, etc.?)

How do I want my relationship(s) to evolve over time?

(Do I want deeper connection, more playfulness, or a shift in sexual expression?)

What is my ideal vision of sexual fulfillment in the future?

(Consider changes you would like to see in your sex life, either through experimentation, deepening intimacy, or discovering new desires.)

Submitted information will be available to your coach and can be removed on request.

Intimacy Needs Profile

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